Monday, March 28, 2005

Err, yesterday was Easter?/Rain on me...

I'm a day late and a buck short with any type of Easter greetings.  It didn't feel much like the holiday to me anyways.  It's so casual to me in comparison to how I used to celebrate it when I was little.  Back then, you had to get the official easter outfit, down to the shoes and stockings, and get a pretty hairdo to top it all off.  Then there was some type of Easter party or egg hunt the my Mom's side of the family put on so that all of us little cousins could get to know each other.  And after all that running around and candy eating, my parents and I would go see my Granny (my Daddy's Mama) and have dinner and see the other side of the family after they left church.  So all day long, its just nonstop family visiting, all day long. 
The family visiting remains the same, but all that egg hunt and kiddie party nostalgia has gone.  Replace the candy with barbecue, soda, pasta salad, and cake,  and the constant eating/snacking also remains.  I felt kinda guilty for constantly eating and snacking all day.  Since its spring now, I should be out walking more anyways.  As I digress, I spent my afternoon at my Aunt's house yesterday, spending time with the family.  It's been  quite a trying week because my great cousin Nashia, who was only 3 months old that I never got to hold, passed away.  My Mom has been hurt by it greatly, cuz she got to hold her once, and my Mom absolutely adores kids.  I was kinda bummed to see her dad, my cousin yesterday; I don't get to see him that often anyways.  Its just a trying time for the entire family. 
Her funeral is tomorrow morning. With this being the day before, its just gonna be a rough day.  As soon as I found out the arrangements, I requested the day off.  I had all this fear that my "boss" was gonna be all in my business about why I was talking the whole day off for a funeral.  I'm hypersensitive to this job right now, and I'm still in search of something else that I can tolerate a lot more.
And through all of this though, it doesn't help that its raining outside.  Tuesday's weather is supposed to be much better, with sunshine.  It would be fitting, considering the circumstances that are becoming closer by the moment.
 
 

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Thursday, March 17, 2005

Do you feel lucky punk?

...well do you?
Happy St. Patrick's to all the party people out there.

Wednesday, March 16, 2005

Family Love

Today has been a pretty standard work day so far, going through the usual routine that I can't stand. I'm not a routine kinda gal, so anything that's a break from it makes the day better. During lunch I got that break that I was hoping for. While sitting in Arby's eating and reading a resume book I purchased earlier this week when my cuz Dwight popped outta nowhere and sat down with me at the table. We talked for a few minutes, just catching up to what each other has been doing since the last time. I'm quite proud of my cuz, he's staying out of trouble, working (and recently had a promotion!), and he's been in his current relationship for about a year. Most importantly he's staying out of trouble, unlike our other first cousin.

He told me about our other cousin, who continuously gets in trouble with the law, and now he's on the most wanted list--again. The last time I saw his face on the news and on the internet, all I could do was shake my head as I began to feel like I was going to cry. Although this is the life that my cousin chose for himself, doesn't mean it's right. He has kids that he needs to take care of, and be an example to. It breaks my heart, knowing that the three of us grew up together, since the three of us went to our Granny's house every weekend, holiday, and just because. As a child, I wouldn't have imagined the drastic differences between us three; it wouldn't have crossed my mind.

I've had plenty of times where I couldn't stand my family, on both my Mom and Dad's sides. Some of the actions that some do made me ashamed to be related to them by blood, and the ongoing, and sometimes unecessary drama made me wanna ask for a new family.

With that being besides the point and off topic, I do want to state that I do love my family, but like anything that you truly care about, you go through a lot of pain. It's just a part of the bargain deal.

*I've decided not to link to my cousin's newstory, just out of love and concern. My intentions aren't to flaunt his bad ways, but hope that he can deviate from any more negative actions. That's my true hope. Time will tell if he decides to do right by his kids, and for respect of his own life. *

Wednesday, March 09, 2005

I need a day off!

Its either because I'm sick of a normal routine, or I'm lazy (probably a combination of both), but I want a day off! Working 40 hours is fine, but when it's confined into the same block of hours every week, for who knows how long, can be irritating. I miss being at home at various times. I miss being able to call my friends, and to have them call me with the option to talk to them, and not because I'm at work.

Right now, I'm working a long term temp job for the time being. With it being indefinate, it worries me a bit, because its difficult to plan for anything else, like a permanent full time job with benefits. Or optioning to go back to school to obtain a few more credentials. As hard as it is to get a permanent position, that doesn't seem like a bad option. Then again, I could have taken the option to earn a certificate in something from UC and stayed a few extra quarters. It never fails, when I get into one routine, I'm ready for another. Actually routines aren't for me, I enjoy variety. Variety in tasks, variety in schedule, variety in free time. Just to have everything just set in stone is so uncomfortable. Options are me. I like options. Options options options dammit!

I haven't felt this pitiful since I last co-oped before dropping out of the program. Then also, I was working at an architectural firm back in 2002-03. All I really spend my 8 hours doing is editing specifications, answering the phone, and check the fax machine. Ooh, the excitement!
And speaking of that excitement, I must finish that excitement before my exciting day ceases at five, which is only 35 minutes away.



Shamekko

This entry was created using the blogger email function.


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Friday, March 04, 2005

Test!

Just testing this new feature out, where you can email a entry to your blog.
Oh yeah, by the way, today's date is 03.04.05 for anyone that noticed. I did, because I'm bored at work. Only boredom can make a person think of useless facts like that.